Author Archives: figaro9000
Prevagen includes an ingredient found in jellyfish. The Federal Trade Commission and the AARP say that it won’t improve your memory. But after taking it, I find myself compelled to sting swimmers’ ankles. I don’t remember when this started. Advertisements
After World War Two, a few surviving relatives made their way to Palestine, which of course became Israel in 1948. A couple of years later, my mother received a letter from one of the relatives, telling about a young son who was ill. The doctors said that a new medicine available in the U.S. could […]
Listen to what they say when the wind moves, the trees, taller than houses, and the swamp grasses, taller than men: Life thrives for this instant. People dizzy themselves with words, as the insects buzz. Sticky life flows through your veins, as it does through ours. Dry death and decay lie beneath new green stems. […]
Arthur Leonard Rosenberg determined a non-ethnic handle would fire up his acting career, so he re-named himself Tony Randall. Only the rich and the strong deserve a helping hand, thought Alisa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum, well-known by then as Ayn Rand. If she were as liberal as he was, her disciples would deem it a scandal: “Who’ll […]
You can see me rocking (0:15)! playing chess (2:14)! being frozen cryogenically (4:49)! collapsing (15:17)! and being unfrozen (20:40)! https://www.redbull.tv/video/AP-1N7M58YSW2111/living-forever?playlist=AP-1N83MJWAH2111:season:1
My grandfather was born in Radautz, Romania, in the late 19th century. His last name was Gärtner (sometimes spelled Gaertner), which he anglicized to Gardner upon immigrating to the U.S. Around the time of my grandfather’s birth, in the same small city, Heinrich Gärtner was born. Could they have been cousins? Heinrich was prominent in […]
This is a comedy web-series about paralegals in a big law firm. It’s well produced and funny. I appear in Episode 2 in a taped greeting from a senior partner.