Author Archives: figaro9000

FRITTER

I dropped the tax papers off for the accountant. I saw the doctor. “Nothing to worry about,” he said. I bought shoes, went home for lunch, and napped. Then made appointments, sent a sample of my voice, spoke to someone about casting. I tried to read a book about poetry, but it was boring. It’s […]

DOMESTICATED

          There’s a new theory that wolves domesticated humans, not the other way around. I can believe that. I was raised by dogs, who taught me kindness and affection when my human family’s cruelty and indifference were too strong. I look for dogs’ kindness in the eyes of the humans I […]

New Film, Based on Raymond Carver’s “Collectors”

Originally posted on GARDNER SPEAKS:
This short film, based on one of the 20th century’s most famous stories – by Raymond Carver – was directed by Charles Kopelson and filmed by Jonathan Miller. The cast of two is Devin Doyle and me: https://vimeo.com/258140027/86fd50c4b2

New Film, Based on Raymond Carver’s “Collectors”

This short film, based on one of the 20th century’s most famous stories – by Raymond Carver – was directed by Charles Kopelson and filmed by Jonathan Miller. The cast of two is Devin Doyle and me:

Making the U.S. a Third-World Country

If you’ve had a queasy feeling that American civilization is coming to an end, perhaps you can take comfort in realizing that this is the result of a carefully contrived plan. How can it be the end of our civilization, you might ask, if tourists want to come here? Well, that was also true of […]

Empathy

I’ve always thought that an essential key to being fully human is empathy. In teaching, and later in creating educational materials, my goal was getting kids to see that the person they were dismissing, hating, or attempting to exploit was on the inside the same as them – full of thoughts and emotions like fear […]

MY FIRST JOKE

The first truly original joke I remember making was in 9th grade Latin class. Our textbook included a photo of a statue of the Capitoline Wolf (the kindly beast who adopted Romulus and Remus). I took off from the 1950s’ surrealistic ads for Maidenform Bras. My joke – which I still think is funny, as […]