NEW NAMES FOR FAME — Mr. Rosenberg & Ms. Rosenbaum

Arthur Leonard Rosenberg
determined a non-ethnic handle
would fire up his acting career,
so he re-named himself Tony Randall.

Only the rich and the strong
deserve a helping hand,

thought Alisa Zinovyevna Rosenbaum,
well-known by then as Ayn Rand.

If she were as liberal as he was,
her disciples would deem it a scandal:
“Who’ll assure us that Losers Are Dirt?
Since Tony won’t, surely Ayn Rand’ll.”

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