COLLEEN BRADSHAW – Sticking It to Ralph

Ralph left me for that little tramp Louise.

If we’d a been married, I’d’ve screwed him back

with a divorce. Instead, I got myself

someone young and cute myself. Tiger,

they called him. He was 15, a sweetie,

with a little nose and square shoulders and ready

four times a night at least. Listen:


I borrowed my brother-in-law’s camera

and we shot our own hot video, which I tossed

onto Ralph’s front porch. It scared him,

the idiot—he thought it was a bomb!—

so he called the cops. They arrested me

for corrupting Tiger. Maybe there is or there ain’t

justice in this universe—but I showed

that scumbag Ralph, I showed him

once and for all good.


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