Ralph left me for that little tramp Louise.
If we’d a been married, I’d’ve screwed him back
with a divorce. Instead, I got myself
someone young and cute myself. Tiger,
they called him. He was 15, a sweetie,
with a little nose and square shoulders and ready
four times a night at least. Listen:
I borrowed my brother-in-law’s camera
and we shot our own hot video, which I tossed
onto Ralph’s front porch. It scared him,
the idiot—he thought it was a bomb!—
so he called the cops. They arrested me
for corrupting Tiger. Maybe there is or there ain’t
justice in this universe—but I showed
that scumbag Ralph, I showed him
once and for all good.